Working mom demands babysitting for 5-year-old and 3-year-old from stay-at-home neighbor with 9-week-old baby, throws fit when she refuses: 'I'm not a full-time babysitter'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 7, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Juggling having a job and being a parent is undeniably difficult for a number of reasons, and perhaps the most pressing of these is childcare. Reliable and regular babysitting is often expensive and hard to find, unless you happen to have a unicorn of a friend or relative who is willing, available, and most importantly, free of charge. 

While many in a parent's social circle are often willing to do them a favor and watch their kids from time to time, that isn't to say that they are comfortable doing it on a regular basis. Unfortunately, certain moms or dads do not really care either way about how a potential babysitter feels about the arrangement, and are eager to exploit as much of their time and energy as they can get away with. It is no surprise that generosity can begin to wear thin, and conflicts can arise when it comes to free childcare.

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  • 01

    AITAH For Telling My Neighbor I Have No Desire or Obligation To Babysit Her Children Because I'm A SAHM?

    I'm new to my area and I have made friends with a few neighbors through a mommy and me group**.** I have been in the group now a little over a month and I have a 9 week old. I have a neighbor who is in the group and she asked me last week in an emergency if I could watch her 3 and 5 year old, she looked desperate so I agreed. I was like well its just once. I am a full-time SAHM and enjoy all my time with my little one. That day I watched her children was hectic as h I, my daughter was fussy and
    via Ok-Record2903
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10514444800
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is a situation that one new stay-at-home mom found herself in the middle of after she rejected her neighbor's request that she watch her two kids every afternoon. Initially, she had agreed to babysit as a one-off, but she didn't want to do it on a regular basis because of her existing responsibilities as a mom and wife.

    Her neighbor got upset by this and accused her of being selfish. She wanted backup that she was not in the wrong for making her decision.

  • 03
    Her response was well its not like I'm asking a lot, its just the afternoons. I said it may not be a lot to her but it is a lot to me. My husband works from home and he needs the house quiet to work, and I'm a new mom and I'm not interested on taking on any other responsibilities other than what I have right now. She told me I was selfish, I told her she was entitled to think that I SHOULD help her just because I'm at home with my little one. AITAH for being so forward?
    via Ok-Record2903
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10514445056
    via Helena Lopes

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05

    The mom provided an update on the situation.

    EDIT: So she went on the group chat trying to disparage me, saying I'm selfish blah blah blah. One of the mom's asked her why she felt I had a responsibility as a SAHM to watch her children? Then another mom confessed and reminded her in the group chat that she tried that with her and was told that the SAHM mom's in the group are not her babysitters and she needs to make arrangements for childcare independent of the group. She attempted to double down then the moderator/creator of the group told
    via Ok-Record2903
  • 06
    I want to thank all of you for your support and understanding my concerns. I'm navigating this and trying to figure out this new life. A year ago I was a college student hanging out with my fiancé (now husband) and now I'm a mom and a wife in a new part of the country. So its a lot of adjusting. Thank you for your help.
    via Ok-Record2903
  • 07

    Commenters agreed that she wasn't in the wrong.

    Training-Fox2475 H I no NTA! It really gets me anymore how many of these selfish people in the world make a mark on someone just because they see something they could get from them and just expect it. When they don't get what they want, they always throw out the selfish label and throw a tantrum. What the h I is wrong with people like this?
    via Training-Fox2475
  • 08
    josiefrench Exactly!! The second they hear "I stay at home" it's like a switch flips and suddenly you owe everyone childcare nahhh.
    via josiefrench
  • 09
    nazy_ber_61 You do not owe anyone childcare simply because you're at home with your own child. You are already working full-time and that's a demanding and around the clock responsibility.
    via nazy_ber_61
  • 10
    NTA Stoney_Wan_KaBlowme Must've missed the part where YOU knocked her up twice. Oh, didn't happen? Then not your problem.
    via Stoney_Wan_KaBlowme
  • 11
    ΝΤΑ KronkLaSworda Everyone knows how expensive childcare is. She's just trying to take advantage of you and guilt trip you into baby sitting.
    via KronkLaSworda
  • 12
    OkieLady1952 I tell her I'd babysit for $50 an hour. See what her answer is then.
    via OkieLady1952
  • 13
    busyshrew Absolutely NTA. I was a SAHM, and I remember to this day, getting advice from another SAHM - She warned me that I would be a target for many other moms who would look at me as easy babysitting. OP, stand absolutely firm. You and your husband are making sacrifices for you to stay home. It's not easy. I get it I've been there. Friends used to absolutely tut-tut at me because we had no dishwasher, only 1 car, only 1 tv and never took vacations overseas. It was hard but it was our choice.
    via busyshrew
  • 14
    iDreamiPursueiBecome Tell her that you don't have the business license or insurance for that. NTA.
    via iDreamiPursueiBecome
  • 15
    TararaBoomDA She's both the a h le and the one who's being forward. You, on the other hand, are the GOAT. NTA.
    via TararaBoomDA
  • 16
    Medusa_7898 Def NTA- regular babysitting is a huge responsibility and you weren't looking for a part time job.
    via Medusa_7898
  • 17
    Tremenda-Carucha You're really right, and I feel ya. It's tough when people assume we stay-at-home parents have endless free time to babysit.
    via Tremenda-Carucha
  • 18
    sparksgirl1223 If someone told me "YOU SHOULD" anything that benefits them and intrudes on my life, would be firmly told that "THEY SHOULD" f right off and figure it out because my time is mine and I'll do what I choose with it, not what someone else thinks I should. NTA
    via sparksgirl1223
  • 19
    Liorafaint you weren't outta line at all, like u got ur hands full with a 9 week old and she really thought u'd just tack on two more kids daily like that's chill?? being a SAHM isn't some free community service gig, that sh is work. she played herself tryna shame u publicly too and got called out hard, love that for u. it's already a lot adjusting to mom life, u don't need the added stress of entitled ppl pushing boundaries. proud of u for standing ur ground
    via Liorafaint
  • 20
    tickandzesty I've had neighbors drop their kids off in the guise of a play date. As a new mom it took a couple one sided play dates with older kids and no reciprocity to catch on. These were not play dates. It was free babysitting.
    via tickandzesty
  • 21
    lapsteelguitar You the AH? Quite the opposite. You did the absolutely right thing. Going forward, you might want to evaluate & communicate what constitutes an emergency. Because your neighbor might get creative in this regard. A trip to the ER is an emergency, a last minute nail appointment is NEVER an emergency. Before the next babysitting ask, and I am sure that there will be one, set & communicate your babysitting rates. Forget the local market rates, set a rate high enough to make worth YOUR
    via lapsteelguitar
  • 22
    OldSaggytitBiscuits NTA, you're not a daycare, she's not paying you, and you would be liable if something happened to her kids in your care. Tell her to get proper child care like every other parent does. The audacity is stunning.
    via OldSaggyttBiscuits

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stay at home mom aita neighbors baby kids working parenting babysitting reddit thread Reddit entitled people
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